I don’t know anyone who hasn’t struggled with the status quo.
Case in point – Target sold out of Lily Pulitzer in less time than it took for you to drink your first coffee this morning. I’m not saying Lily designs aren’t pretty – they are – but for people to sweep a store nationwide, I think there’s more of a desire for people to have approval from their peers than there is for the product itself.
And I’m not exempt. My four years in high school will prove it. I lost who I was for four years because I wanted other people to like me. I was tired of being the different one – the one in skirts, the one with long hair and no idea how to even wear makeup. Y’all, I wore a skirt on a field every Friday night from September to November in front of home crowds and away crowds for pregame and halftime while everyone else wore pants. I’m no stranger to being the outcast or the odd one or the one who’s misunderstood, but I wanted to fit in so badly I did everything else I could to like what other people liked and do what other people did because it meant I was similar. I changed the way I dressed and the music I listened to and even my dreams because I thought it would be easier or somehow make me more successful.
In college, I wanted to change and be different and be me, but I was terrified of walking away from the routines and rules I had – so scared that I made up wild stories about how God and I had “made a promise” and I just “felt like that’s how I should live” when, in reality, I just didn’t know who I was and couldn’t even figure out how to walk away from the parts of me that weren’t me anymore.
I had spent so much time seeking the approval of people that I was just a shadow. I didn’t know me or even where to look to find myself.
But y’all, life is more than shadow shows. It’s more than looking just as grey as everyone else in the mirror with the right curves, right style, right desires and likes. If you seek so hard after even the small things because other people like them, you will lose sight of you. You will lose sight of your dreams and hopes and desires and when you really need them, you won’t even know where to begin to look for them.
Burying your identity so deep beneath your reflection in someone else’s eyes will suffocate your light and in darkness you cannot see forward.
But listen, sister. Hear me in this if you hear me in nothing else. God is a God of whispers just as much as He is a God of turning tables in the temple. He has called you something. He says so in Isaiah – He called you by name and He called you out of this fear and these insecurities that have been speaking too long to your heart. Sister, listen to what He calls you because that is who you are. That is your identity and that is where your dreams lie. That is where your heart is most filled and most full of joy.
People need what you’re dreaming.
Don’t lose you.