These days I’ve been praying one little prayer: show me how to serve here.
Maybe not everyone is like me, and that’s okay, but I struggle when I’m not active. I struggle when I can’t see the fruit or when I don’t feel like I’m helping. I’d dig up the seed I planted yesterday just to see if it had changed yet. (Case in point: I planted apple seeds outside our back porch when I was a kid, but I dug them up every few hours to see if there was a change. Obviously, we don’t have any apple trees now, but I’m pretty sure it’s just because Georgia is too hot, right?)
I know God has big plans and I’m confident in where He wants me to go, but I know that this time in my life is one of those times of “abiding” and “waiting” that we so desperately loathe as Christians. When your heart is in one place, but your body is in another.
Actually, aren’t we like that all the time? We’re here on earth, but we seek a Kingdom to come. Our hearts are with the Father, but our bodies are here. We still have life to live. We can long for a seat at the table opposite our Creator, but we can’t waste our time daydreaming of that day when we’ve got work to do.
I picked peas and butterbeans a lot as a kid because I loved it (read: because mom told me to not come back until my bucket was full). Really, I loved to eat them later – the taste of fresh vegetables from the garden is unlike any other – but there’s a process. I could’ve sat on my bucket in the field for hours and not picked the peas, but they would have eventually dried up and I wouldn’t have had any to eat (and mom would have been mad, obviously).
The same applies here, right? The harvest is here. The Kingdom is here. We have stuff to do. We can’t sit around waiting on where we’re going or we’ll never get there.
God planted my heart and sometimes it aches to be back there, but I know that right now, I’m here, and I don’t want to miss out on what’s right in front of me because I want to be somewhere else.
I think that’s what it’s called. Just being present. Opening our eyes to what’s right in front of us. And when God moves – when His spirit moves – I will move with Him.
So, this morning I woke up and showered before the sun to sit outside and sweat to near faint with some of the sweetest people with God-sized lionhearts and held a baby (the cutest one) and helped these two kids sell lemonade to buy school supplies for kids in their community. Why? Because I’m here and there’s not one thing in the world like being right here. It wasn’t my idea and, really, I didn’t do much, but I don’t want to wait for another time or another place for God to use me and if I’m not being broken and poured out right here, then I’m not doing what God’s called me to do.
“Here am I, send me” has turned into “Here am I, use me” – in whatever way, in whatever place, make me useful for the Kingdom. It doesn’t have to be something catastrophic. It can be just a lemonade stand with a purpose.