Has it really been two years? 730 days practically down to the minute.
I touched American soil full of a mess inside from the world I’d seen and felt. I spent six months mad about it – mad that I’d been uprooted to have my heart broken, and all for what? To come home and buy new clothes in an attempt to fit into a desk-job mold? To play stand-up sit-down in a church that felt so dead inside? My pride just about killed me.
I felt like I had a fever for months that wouldn’t break, body that was hot and cold and couldn’t regulate itself in the midst of something so drastically … normal.
But when my fever broke, God was at work rebuilding this little heart of mine. He rebuilt it with late night conversations and Monday banana pudding. He rebuilt it with Wednesday dinners and weddings. He rebuilt it with baseball games and cupcakes and side-splitting laughter and the slow rejoicing in a smile. He rebuilt it with repetition – daily mountain mornings and the sun’s rising over grassy fields in dewy light where He whispered so faint, had I not the highest heights, I would not have heard.
All the while, Jeremiah beats my heart – I will build you until you are rebuilt.
And in this year His voice has been clear. As surely as the sun rises and sets, He is faithful. What He started, He will finish. Where He leads, I will follow.
This isn’t a monumental day for many. It’s simple – the end of July and the beginning of August, the downward rush into autumn – but for me, this day cannot go without pause. I am excited for everything year three will bring. I can only dream of where God will have me this time next year, and oh what a beautiful dream it is.
“Your light will shine like the sunrise; your restoration will quickly arrive; your righteousness will go before you, and the LORD’s splendor will be your rear guard.” Isaiah 58:10